castigador | ( OPEN ) Frank Castle

I think my dinosaur found your coyote. DD would apologize for scaring him away in the middle of that fight, but he's a big dumb dinosaur that doesn't have a brain large enough to process things like sympathy. I know some people say the same thing about you, so you might understand how that goes.

[ who tf has a dinosaur??? god he hates this town. ]

Are you a supervillain? If so I'm busy.

There's no way in h-e-double-toothpicks that I've got the time to be a supervillain. My name is Lunella Lafayette, and I'm nine years old. Too young to not have a bedtime, but old enough to know that coyotes don't usually make great pets.

Loot isn't a pet. He's my partner.

[ wait- ]

You have a dinosaur and you're judging me???

Devil Dinosaur isn't a pet. He's my partner. And a big pain in the you know what.

I'm getting real sick of this double standard BS. I expected better from a nine year old.

[ before she's been tainted by the world etc etc. ]

Are you gonna help me look for him or was this a too bad so sad situation?

[great. another one of those adults that think they're funny. her favorite.]

If you actually read the first message I sent, you'd know that I found him! Look, I've already tracked your location through your phone so just do us all a favor and stay put before I have to lecture you on expecting anything from someone you don't even know.

Fine. I'm in for the night anyway.

[Texting is hard when you're trying to ride on a dinosaur and keep a coyote balanced on his head. So she opts for not responding. And within a matter of half an hour, he'll feel some rumbling as the dinosaur traipses his way toward wherever Frank is staying. And at the one window in the living area he'll see Lunella dressed as Moon Girl, with Loot sitting right beside her.

Thankfully, Devil Dinosaur's head is perfectly tall enough to be level with his apartment. What magic.

She waves like this is all very normal and she's in no way worried about being caught despite the fact it's like midnight and she's out way past her bedtime.]

[ oh my god this might be the weirdest thing that's ever happened to him. and like, that's saying a lot. the second he sees loot, however, he dumps rational thought out of the same window he opens. ]

I would say come inside... [ but like the dinosaur can't fit??? sorry. it's a shoebox. this is ~the city~ and why did he come back here again? he holds out two massive arms for loot like he's a puppy and the wild fucking animal leans in to lick his face. frank castle, you are not normal. you have no right to judge this girl and her pure love for a dinosaur. ] Thanks.

[ for keeping loot safe. she might want to bankroll that one, he doesn't say it often or to many people these days. ]

[He gets a thumbs up for his gratitude. The dinosaur gets a pat to his head and she decides to just...come right on in his shoebox of a home. She hasn't been invited, but she's just saved his dog and needs to get around to why she's actually here.]

Enough with the small talk. [It's the worst.]

I know all about your "secret identity". [Hand air quotes used and everything.]

And I could really use your help with something. You're used to being shot at. I need a human shield.

[ loot hops in after her and frank goes to fill a water bowl. ]

Is he good...? [ he means the dinosaur. he's considering the logistics of where to put a water bowl for a dino rn but of course he doesn't have a bowl that big anyway. he scratches loot idly on the head and laughs. ] You do know it isn't actually a secret.

[ like, at all. but still... a nine year old needs a human shield?? ]

I'm listening.

So, there's this big, loud dummy that might be a hero sometimes. His name is Deadpool. We got in a fight and my dinosaur ate him. And even after these people pulled him out in one semi-digested piece, he's being a big baby about it.

[And maybe she's worried he'll show up while she's at school to torment her because her identity isn't secret either. But she's nine and has an imagination despite being the literal smartest person alive. It's a problem. About as much of a problem as her dinosaur who just...slowly wanders off. He's good.]

And the people who pulled him out are really bad guys, and they keep trying to grab me to make me do things for them. They really aren't listening to any of the messages I try sending them. So I really need to start being tough!

[ oh my goD okay like. he thought this was going a different way entirely but. ]

This is about Wade? [ because in that case: ] I'm in.

[ like soooo in. holy shit. but wait. ]

Didn't you say you had a curfew, tough kid?

[She points at him and looks all semi-pissy.]

My name is Lunella. You can either call me that or Moon Girl, but nothing else. Got it?

[She gets made fun of at school and is very sensitive to any and all nicknames. But since he's doing what she wants, she won't be too angry. Her arms cross over her chest, and she looks like she might completely ignore his question. She only answers it because she knows she needs to play nice.]

And I said I had a bedtime. Curfews are for teenagers that are too self-absorbed to spend the night fighting crime and saving the world.

[ he lifts his eyebrows. it was a lot nicer than most of the nicknames he usually hands out. but he does (presumably) get to kill wade again. that's incentive enough for him to do what she says. ]

Moon girl. [ like he's repeating it to test it out. what the fuck? ] When's your bedtime, Moongirl?

[She sulks when he gets all nosy. And then gives him a side eye that shows she's annoyed.]

Eight o'clock. Ten on the weekends. Why?

'Cause it's quarter of.

[ not like he super cares. like yeah, she's nine. but she rides on a dinosaur. it's obviously Above His Paygrade. what isn't, these days? ]

These guys, they with Hydra?

[Good, he's taking her seriously. She gives him an appreciative smile before shrugging.]

I thought at first that they must be, but after a few way too close encounters I think there's dimension hopping going on. Have you ever heard of an omni-wave device, Mr. Punisher?

Great. [ sarcastic. he doesn't think that's great at all. frank sighs. ] No, but you sound like you wanna tell me.

[ so out with it. is it something he can punch? he likes punching machines. and also, obviously: people. ]

[Since he asked...

Lunella launches into a ten minute explanation of alien technology that's too difficult to write out because some of us aren't geniuses. When she finishes, she's got an excited look in her eye. The look that only nerds get when they talk about nerdy science things.

But oh -

He seems more of the clobbering type. She ducks her head so he won't think she's a loser and tries simplifying it so she can hide the fact she's a mega nerd.]

Basically, it's a Kree alien device that can enable communication across hyperspace. It also can open portals across time and space, which is exactly how my dinosaur found his way to the lower east side of Manhattan.

[ oh boy, another nerd. the truth is, frank likes nerds. they make a good counterpoint to his job as a blunt instrument. it's just so hard to listen when he super doesn't care or understand what they're saying. she is nine though, and super sassy, so for once he doesn't interrupt. ]

Next time, kid: just say that. You'll be wasting your breath otherwise.

[ a long beat and frank shrugs. what the hell? ]

So what do you need me to do?

Edited 2019-01-15 23:41 (UTC)

( OPEN ) Frank Castle

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